Crisis is an interesting word. I just looked up the definition and it simply means "a turning point". Although it is often associated with danger or trauma, a crisis, by definition, is not necessarily a bad thing. So why does the term "mid-life crisis" conjure up so many negative implications? Well, when I hear "mid-life crisis" I tend to think of a 40 year-old balding guy riding around in his convertible Mustang trying to pick up college girls. Or I think of a 40 year old wife and mother getting wrapped up in an affair with her kids' pediatrician. And I guess both scenarios will create the "turning point" in their lives. But while I believe a mid-life crisis is inevitable, I also believe this crisis can be a positive one. One where no one gets hurt and there are no regrets. For example, here's mine:
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Last summer I felt restless. I knew I wanted something but I didn't know what I wanted. But I was pretty sure it was a motorcycle. So as I began looking at Harley's I was getting more and more convinced that the lack of a motorcycle was indeed the void in my life. I had cool images of me riding country roads as the sun was setting. Images with my wife either riding along and holding on tight or waiting at home for me with her newly fueled infatuation and respect for her biker husband....yeah, that was the shape of the hole in my heart...the shape of a motorcycle.
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But Angela didn't agree. So I secretly waited and watched and ever so gingerly slipped the motorcycle dream into conversations to numb her defenses. And I finally got to where I felt I might could get a motorcycle and not a divorce as a result. Victory! But the guilt of Angela's lack of enthusiasm coupled with the guilt of me wasting family money on my toy, lead me to reconsider.
So one day as I was in Wal-mart near the end of this same summer, I was walking down the bike aisle I noticed a road bike. It had thin wheels and rounded handlebars like my old 10spd back in the day. $140.00 later and it was all mine. My visions of riding the country roads in the sunset were about to become reality!
Flash forward 8 months and I'm on my 4th road bike and have logged over 2000 miles. I entered my first Time Trial race a couple weeks ago and finished a strong 81st out of 89 riders. And I'm set to ride my first metric century (68 miles) next Monday. But perhaps the most impressive thing about my new cycling hobby is that I have no desire for a motorcycle. I no longer have that two wheeled shape hole in my heart. I guess a bike fit that hole just fine.
I believe it was God who put that hole in my heart. But it was a hole of a bicycle and not a motorcycle all along. It was in my materialistic, self-centered glasses I wear that caused me not to see a bike. I saw a Harley. Because a Harley would make me look scary and cool. But God didn't want me to be scary and cool. God wanted me to wear tight cloths, sweat, come in 81st place, and get healthy. It might not be my script but, looking back, I couldn't have written it any better.
And as a bonus gift for this "crisis" God sent my way, He reveals Himself sometimes as I'm out riding. The above pictures are a couple of examples from my cell phone.
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The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. (Psalms 19:1)
