Trying new things

As a Christian in today's modern world I think it is important to keep up with the current trends in today's culture. So often the Christian community shuns modern culture to the point of alienating ourself from the people who might need us most, like the people wrapped up in drug addictions. So for those of you who haven't noticed yet, I tend to think a little "outside the box" when it comes to my spirituality. So my lastest effort to reach out to people might seem a little controversial, but I hold my assurance by remembering that some of the greatest people in history have been accused of being controversial. So how am I going to try and connect with a culture that is getting farther and farther removed from the church? I'm going to try some methamphetamines! I better let y'all have time to let that one sink in a little............
Alright, here me out. First, this is one of the fastest growing, and most distructive drug problems in the U.S. It is one of the most easily accessible and cheapest illegal drug on the streets. So it's obvious why kids (and adults) are getting hooked. And the fact that it ages a person so quickly by ruining the skin and rotting the teeth through severe malnutrition, only proves to me that this must be an experience worth trying at least once. After all, if it helps people alleviate some of our deep rooted feelings of vanity, then maybe they're on the right track.
I have no intention of getting hooked! I just feel to better understand the "buzz" of this product, I need to experiment with it in a controlled enviroment (like my house or in my car). And then, hopefully, when I'm armed with the knowledge of the drug's effect on my brain, body, and emotions, then I'll be "one" with the methamphetamine community. I can infiltrate their lives for their benifit. I can be a light in the darkness!
I don't expect much support from the traditionalist. I don't expect much support from my family. But I am a pioneer! I'll fight the good fight! I'll be the modern day martyr! And before you discount me as someone who has gone past the point of rational thought, remember what today is...It's not a day to be timid. It's not a day for complacency! And it's not a day to crawl into our bunkers and hide from the enemy!.............It's April Fools Day!