After years of putting up with a pain in my neck (literally), I finally went to see a professional for my diagnosis. The actual definition of a professional is "someone who receives money for their actions or knowledge". Well my Doctor received a great deal of money, so I assume she is a great doctor. The first visit, for $180 and 10 minutes of her time, ended with me having an appointment to get a MRI. The only questions repeatedly asked to me were "do you have metal in your body?" and "are you claustrophobic?". To which I confidently answered "no..unless you count my bicep as being metal". After all, I'd know if I had any metal in my body, and being a man, I definitely wasn't claustrophobic! So the time and date was set for my first MRI.
Seconds before being rolled into the MRI machine, they asked the two questions again, which I answered "no" with a chuckle this time...the same questions were getting tiresome. Then they rolled me into this 24" diameter tube and wouldn't you know it, I'm claustrophobic! Who knew? 10 seconds into this 20 minute procedure, and I was fighting back the words "GET ME OUT OF HERE !" I felt a panic coming on, but my greatest fear won out over this new fear. My greatest fear is looking like a fool. So my claustrophobia came in a close second this day. My pride wouldn't allow me to quit, but like I said, it was close. The only words I could remember were the Lord's Prayer. So I repeated them over and over. I wasn't even really praying, they were literally the only words I could remember, so I used them to distract my mind. It worked, and 20 minutes eventually crawled by. My heart rate was up and down like a roller coaster as this new fear occasionally tried to take over, only to be extinguished by my pride.
So I learned a few things about myself last week. I learned my pain in the neck is just that, a forever pain in my neck. I have arthritis. But I also learned I have a bad case of "the claustrophobia". This hurts even worse. The problem I have with this phobia of mine is I know who I am now in a Sci-Fi movie. You know the movies on the Sci-Fi channel where a group of people are being attacked by something strange and only 1 or 2 people live in the end. Well up to this moment of my life I thought I was the hero type. The leading man type. The strong one left in the end because I defeated the enemy with my strength, intelligence, and courage. Well after being "tested" in the MRI machine I found out I'm more apt to be the annoying character, the one filled with fear that the audience knows (and hopes) is getting killed off early....Take that "my Pride"!
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3 comments:
Dude,
As soon as I read the words "and being a man, I definitely wasn't claustrophobic" I wondered if I was a freak. I know I am claustrophobic - big time! They will never, ever get me in one of those tubes. I'll die first.
And being claustrophobic, I am really miffed at "modern health technology". This is the stinking 21st century for crying out loud. Isn't there a better way for diagnosing problems instead of putting a man in a coffin while he is still alive? You better find one in case I ever need it.
You guys / "Dude's" are too funny! One good thing about being female - I guess is knowing that we can admit right up front that we're claustrophobic - Huge! I can't even imagine Pride even trying to win out over this area.
Somebody telling me to get in one of those machines is like somebody telling me to give up coffee. I REALLY DON'T THINK SO.......
Oh ya - let's not forget we don't mind stopping and asking for directions either.
Decided I better add a positive comment about the fact that pride won out in your case. Could it really have been the Lords prayer and not pride that won out? Either case - very glad you got thru the MRI and now you're not wondering what's wrong. Once you know what's wrong you can meet it head on. Like to cut up with you guys from time to time.
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